There is always time to take time out for trivia. Today’s non-event is Christo’s law suit against 433 Broadway Co. for putting up a 6-story building that ruins his view. Okay, I made up that reason. Officially, Christo—sole proprietor of Depaul Realty Corp., which owns 48 Howard Street, his studio since the 1960s—has taken 433 Broadway to County Court because, since March of this year, his new neighbor “has caused and/or permitted gravely unsafe construction activity to take place at 433 Broadway.” This violation “has affected Christo’s ability to safely use and enjoy his home and studio, and has put the safety of Christo, his guests, and the general public in jeopardy.”
//
//
Ah, yes, safety! Christo claims the new building has caused his own property to shift 1 inch eastward, toward the new construction. Some questions come to mind: How would Christo know? He wraps things; he does not build them. And when, please tell, did this shift first come to Christo’s attention? Could Christo’s own, much older building have shifted, or begun a slight tilt, decades ago? Obviously, the foundation did not shift. It had to be the roof line. Has the roof line been measured regularly down the decades? A plumb line dropped every ten years or so?
Christo’s attitude toward property is interesting. If it his own, it is inviolable. If it belongs to someone else, well . . . . let’s play a little. Maybe he could simply offer to wrap the Broadway building. It was designed to compliment the rhythm and proportions of the many 19th century cast iron buildings in the Soho district. A genuine Christo wrapping would bring it nicely into the 20th century. Christo’s own adjacent property could shrouded at the same time. Both buildings could accrue in value simultaneously.
Besides, if 48 Howard Street, really does continue to list, a Christo envelope might put it on the map, giving it the same—well, not quite, but in the ball park—caché as that leaning tourist attraction in Pisa. Anyway, buildings that lean are the next new architectural thing. You would think that any building slouching toward modernity would appeal to Christo.
//
//
But, as night follows day, the cutting edge gets dull, worn down by time and self-importance. Christo needs to get out more. He should see Jacques Tati’s 1958 put down of modern archicture Mon Oncle. It might help him appreciate the efforts of Rothzeid Kaiserman Thomson & Bee, specialists in architectural restoration. It might even encourage him to celebrate that well-earned one-inch tilt of 48 Howard Street. But, then, Christo’s suit is a property statement. For that, you need a real culture-shaper. Never mind artists. You want a lawyer:
//
//
Note: My thanks for the cartoon go to Mr. Eyeballs. He has a wicked streak. In addition, he sends Annie Liebowitz’s portrait of Christo as an explanation of why Christo might be having trouble measuring properly:
//
//
© 2011 Maureen Mullarkey
